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11+ New Ideas Mature Women Long Hair –

His one accurate ambition was to accommodated his axis corpuscle donor from Germany. “Technically,” Mateo said, “I’m me on the outside, but on the central I’m her.”

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That was then. Now, technically, he’s his beforehand brother, Leo, on the inside. And aback actuality diagnosed with blight in 2016, his accustomed ambition has been aloof to be at home, amidst by ancestors and able to beddy-bye in his own bedroom, area he keeps his claimed altar to his life’s best allusive bodies and moments.

Mateo’s indefatigable — a affable antic who loves sports, art, costumes, The Office, Minecraft, and appealing abundant anybody he meets. But he was dealt a catastrophically bad duke at age 8 aback his blight was diagnosed. It was “probably the best accepted blight we see in children,” says Dr. Joelle Straehla, his pediatric oncologist. “Greater than 90 percent of accouchement are cured.”

Yet no one, not his doctors, not his parents, could advanced what lay advanced for Mateo.

Mandy Goldman, Mateo’s mother, is my hairdresser, and I’d gotten to apperceive her close ancestors aback I wrote a Globe adventure about her 90-year-old grandmother, the buyer and abettor of Franny’s Beauty Shoppe in Natick for 65 years. Mandy and her husband, Nick, a software engineer, had four aggressive kids amid the ages of 2 and 10, and I consistently looked advanced to my beard accessories so I could apprehend about their latest escapades.

When I saw Mandy in June 2016, she told me about a monumentally anarchic morning beforehand that week. During the blitz to get out the aperture for school, her earlier son, Leo, had hurled a cycle of aqueduct band beyond the allowance and it burst the angle tank. Mandy agitated her coffee on a anatomy she’d active for Mateo’s teacher. Mateo started accusatory that he couldn’t walk, so on the way to academy she let him sit in his 2-year-old sister’s adventurer as she counterbalanced Violet on top of the sun visor, captivation the toddler as she pushed them along. Afresh Mandy’s romper accouterments malfunctioned, and started to blooper down. We both howled with laughter.

But it angry out not to be funny.

In hindsight, over the abutting brace of months, Mateo was “not himself,” Mandy says. He complained that his amateur and abdomen hurt. He absent weight and ran a fever. She took him to the doctor four or bristles times but was told he was fine. One weekend in November, afterwards Mateo’s basketball attack at a gym in Jamaica Plain, addition asked Nick if Mateo was OK — they’d noticed his bark was a little green. That night, Mateo threw up.

Early the abutting morning Mandy collection Mateo to the emergency allowance at Boston Children’s Hospital, area his claret was tested. Alike afore the moment aback a doctor came in cutting a tag that said “Oncology,” Mandy knew it was cancer. She approved to alarm Nick but couldn’t bethink at aboriginal how to use a phone.

I had cafeteria in a Brookline restaurant with Mateo and Mandy aftermost January, not continued afore the COVID-19 lockdown. By afresh Mateo was an agreeable 11-year-old — happy, strong, funny, hungry, acquisitive to allocution about his experience, and at times aural and behaving added developed than childlike. He told me that he is “definitely added mature” because of his blight experience, and has an easier time talking to grown-ups than to kids. “We accept added in common,” he said. “I affectionate of anticipate it’s because they’re added mature.”

“Do you bethink aback we told you [that] you had cancer?” Mandy asked him. Her eyes welled up at the anamnesis of it and Mateo angled his arm about her and patted her shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said. “You were crying. Dad was crying — and he never cries. I knew article was up but I didn’t absolutely apperceive what it meant.”

It meant he had B-cell astute lymphoblastic leukemia, a fast-growing claret cancer: His anatomy was authoritative aberrant white claret beef alleged lymphoblasts in his cartilage marrow, the absorptive tissue central his bones. Lymphoblasts don’t action infections well, abrasion the allowed system. They additionally breed bound and army out the advantageous white claret beef in the cartilage marrow — which is why Mateo was so achy. The analysis is usually two years of chemotherapy.

Nick had raced to the hospital, area he and Mandy approved to blot what they were hearing. They could about abstract what the doctors were saying. “They were analogue on B-cells, it’s 90 percent curable, you’re in the best hands, there are psychologists available, do you charge us to booty your claret pressure?” Nick recalls.

There was no time to lose: Mateo was anon aerated to the pediatric oncology attic and the affliction began. Doctors performed a lumbar puncture, inserting a attenuate aggravate in the lower allotment of his aback to abolish aqueous and attending for affirmation of leukemia. He had a cartilage bottom biopsy. A PICC band was amid in his arm, afresh a 30-day advance of able chemotherapy drugs began. He wouldn’t be home for Thanksgiving.

What followed was “horrible to watch,” Nick says. Mateo had affiliated nausea, bouts of vomiting, an acquisitive rash, aperture sores, and added afflicted ancillary effects, including accident his hair. He was accustomed added drugs to adverse the furnishings of the chemo.

Yet he backward absolute and upbeat, says Mandy, who has accurate her son’s acquaintance on amusing media aback his diagnosis. In a photo of a baldheaded Mateo about Day 10, he’s assuming with his legs bankrupt into a Buddha-like lotus position. “I anticipate this was declared to appear to me so I could acquisition my accurate cocky and affect added people,” he told his mother afterward.

The analysis was meant to annihilate all the blight beef and get Mateo in complete absolution in 30 days. It “starts out accelerated and gradually gets beneath intensive,” Dr. Straehla explains. If all went well, Mateo would be activated and home by Christmas 2016, followed by two years of outpatient treatments.

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Mateo did get home in time to bless Christmas Eve. The abutting day, afterwards aperture presents, the ancestors headed to his great-grandmother’s for a meal. “Then we got the abominable call,” Nick says. Test after-effects showed there was still leukemia in Mateo’s cartilage marrow. He spent Christmas night — and the abutting three weeks — in the hospital.

Doctors told the Goldmans that Mateo’s best achievement for a cure was a axis corpuscle displace to alter his unhealthy, blood-forming beef with advantageous ones from addition else. “We were devastated,” Mandy says. “We knew it was the worst-case scenario. At aboriginal they acquaint you it’s the best curable affectionate of cancer, and afresh you acquisition out you’re activity bottomward a altered path.”

What’s more, tests showed that no one in the ancestors could accord their axis beef to Mateo. The protein markers in the donor’s cells — human corpuscle antigens, or HLA — had to carefully bout the protein markers in Mateo’s to abbreviate the adventitious of bounce and added complications.

The hospital’s hunt aggregation entered his abstracts into a accepted anthology of abeyant donors. Acceptable account was not certain: About 10,000 patients in the United States anniversary year accept no bout accessible to them on the registry, according to Be The Match, a nonprofit that maintains the civic donor anthology for patients in the United States.

But there was one — alone one — who could absolutely bout Mateo.

In October 2016, about the time Mateo was assuming aboriginal affection of cancer, a adolescent German woman in Frankfurt alleged Laura Sütterlin was grumpily watching her then-husband attempt in a paintball match. She didn’t decidedly accept of this cutting sport.

Getting apathetic and hungry, Laura wandered abroad to acquisition article to eat. She begin herself at a kiosk set up by the Stefan Morsch Foundation, area a man was recruiting volunteers to accompany a anthology of abeyant cartilage bottom and axis corpuscle donors. He smiled and teased he’d accord her a bar of amber if she’d annals as a donor. She would aloof charge to besom her audacity for a DNA sample.

Laura didn’t hesitate. Like abounding adolescent Germans, she was accustomed with how axis corpuscle donations advice bodies with blight and added life-threatening claret diseases. Their country has a able-bodied donor application campaign: kiosks are a accoutrement at able-bodied events, exhibitions, schools, and added locations, and accessible account jingles that appetite bodies to be donors are ubiquitous. “Think about how abounding bodies we accept on the planet,” Laura says. “If anybody would potentially accord [stem cells] aback they about-face 18, anticipate of how abounding lives could be saved.”

Three months later, Laura got a buzz bulletin and e-mail from the Stefan Morsch Foundation: She was the best bout for a accommodating who actively bare a axis corpuscle transplant.

Laura underwent the action to abstract bottom from her pelvic cartilage at a hospital in Wiesbaden, Germany, on March 13. Afterward, the doctor told her the cartilage bottom was on its way to the United States to advice save the activity of an 8-year-old boy. “I was air-conditioned blessed to abutment a child,” Laura says, “but sad that such a little anatomy would accept to acquaintance such treatments.”

Mateo begin a ablaze atom in all this aback he met a 10-year-old boy alleged Jordan Kim, additionally a accommodating at Boston Children’s. Jordan was actuality advised for aplastic anemia, a attenuate ataxia in which the anatomy stops authoritative new claret cells. The two boys met anon afterwards Mateo was aboriginal ailing in 2016, and they “clicked instantly,” says Jordan’s mother, Lynn. This meant a lot to Mateo.

“Most parents [of pediatric patients] don’t appetite their kids to become accompany with added kids because they adeptness die,” Mateo says. “That’s like saying, ‘Don’t accept kids, they’re activity to die.’ Everybody is activity to die someday.”

Mateo and Jordan afraid out in anniversary other’s rooms, arena video amateur and application Jordan’s remote-control car to hunt nurses bottomward the hall. Once they got in agitation for concocting an atomic soda bubbler of Diet Coke and Mentos in addition patient’s battery stall. “All the nurses said we looked like two old men,” Mateo says. Aback they couldn’t be together, they’d FaceTime to see how the added was feeling. They alleged anniversary added BFFs.

But the time for Mateo’s axis corpuscle displace was approaching. His displace doctor, Christine Duncan, does not belie what her adolescent patients endure. “You accept to airing through blaze to get through the added ancillary of it,” says Dr. Duncan, administrator of the inpatient displace account at Boston Children’s Hospital, which treats pediatric blight and claret disorders in a collective affairs with Dana-Farber Blight Institute.

To start, the old allowed arrangement is wiped out with a one-two bite of chemo and absolute anatomy irradiation. “The doses are so aerial that if you don’t accord them beef to accomplishment them, they won’t balance on their own,” she says.

The displace was appointed for March 14, 2017, the day afterwards Laura donated her axis beef in Germany. A advance bagman fabricated the annular cruise from Boston to Wiesbaden, landing at Logan International Airport during a blast that brought 2 anxiety of snow. At Boston Children’s, Laura’s beef were alloyed into Mateo through the intravenous catheter in his chest. Brutal ancillary furnishings followed: fevers, animated claret pressure, infections, sores in his gastrointestinal tract, nausea.

Then, on May 8, his acquaintance Jordan died. Mateo was “heartbroken,” Mandy says. The boys had been inseparable. Alike aback Jordan bare a displace and was confused bottomward the anteroom to a altered assemblage afar by bottle doors, they would accommodated at the doors “and were so blessed to be abreast anniversary other.”

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“This is the saddest part,” Nick says, speaking of the accumulative aftereffect of what Mateo has been through. “Kids like Mateo are beggared of their childhood.”

Mateo has absent out on abounding things, and hasn’t had a abounding year of academy aback additional grade. Sometimes he was accomplished in the hospital, but was generally too ailing to focus. At home, he approved to accumulate up by application a remote-controlled apprentice that confused about the classroom, acceptance him to collaborate with his abecedary and classmates, but with bound success. By the summer, though, Mateo was activity abundant better. “He is amazing!” Mandy wrote in a blog post. “He is happy, able and funny. He smiled all day today!”

Mateo alternate to academy in February 2018, and fabricated account aback he accustomed his aboriginal day. Brookline badge and firefighters escorted him, and several hundred well-wishers lined the artery with balloons and cheers.

But austere problems followed. Mateo developed graft-versus-host disease, an blackballed ancillary aftereffect of transplantation: The donated beef saw his body’s beef as adopted and attacked them. His anatomy grew annealed and his bark grew tight — so bound “he was solid as a rock,” as his mother puts it. He struggled for months as doctors approved altered treatments, until it was mostly beneath control.

The barter of claimed advice amid axis corpuscle donors and their recipients is belted at first, with acquaintance acceptable anonymously afterwards one year. Afterwards two years — if both bodies agree — their names and acquaintance advice may be shared, says Susanne Morsch of the Stefan Morsch Foundation. About absolutely a year afterwards the transplant, Laura got a letter from Mateo, forwarded to her by the foundation. It read, in part:

Dear Donor: I can’t delay to get to apperceive you. Here is a little about me … I’m acute and funny and football is my admired sport. I played football the division afore I got diagnosed with leukemia. What is your ancestors like? Adulation your brother from addition mother.

Laura showed me the letter in person. Coincidentally, I had affairs to be in Germany in November 2019, and Mandy had encouraged me to accommodated Laura, who was afresh afar from her bedmate and active in Karlsruhe, a absorbing old burghal on the Rhine in southwestern Germany, abreast the French border. She aggregate a comfortable accommodation with her creamy white cat, Calimero. Laura was captivated to accommodated anyone who knew Mateo.

She’d kept Mateo’s letter as a abundance and showed me a photo she took of herself, crying, afterwards she aboriginal apprehend it. “In some affectionate of way, we are connected,” she said. “Part of me lives in Mateo. His anatomy is breeding my cells, and this overwhelms me.”

Laura is warm, funny, outgoing, not clashing Mateo, with big eyes and a accumulation of coiled atramentous hair. She radiates activity and warmth. She’s catholic a lot and speaks bristles languages. By the time we meet, she and Mateo accept already had several video calls and credible they allotment a lot in common, including Italian backgrounds, aphotic hair, and a adulation of all things Disney.

She additionally knew that Make-a-Wish had accepted Mateo’s ambition to appointment her in Germany, and his ancestors was acquisitive for a cruise in the bounce or summer of 2020. “I’m super-excited to appearance them everything,” she said, captivation up her squirmy cat and pantomiming: “Mateo, this is Calimero. Calimero, this is Mateo!”

As I able for that cruise to Germany in the autumn of 2019, acceptable things were accident for Mateo and his family. He was aback on the football field. In the winter he abutting a association amphitheater and played “Olaf the Boorish” in a assembly of Yo, Vikings! He started cutting a German-themed T-shirt formed “Willkommen!”

Mandy and Nick absitively to advertise their Brookline house, which sat on a active artery and abutted a parking lot. They capital their kids to accept a backyard and to accord Mateo a beginning alpha area he could accomplish new accompany and calmly echo an bookish year. In June they confused into a big abode with a barn on a ample lot in Duxbury, not far from the bank area they’d spent abounding blessed summers at Mandy’s grandmother’s cottage. “We aloof accumulate absent up being we can accept and do,” Mandy says. “I anticipate we charge goats and chickens.”

After COVID-19 hit, it was credible that there’d be no cruise to Germany for the ancestors anytime soon. Make-A-Wish bent that all travel-related wishes would be indefinitely postponed. They asked Mateo if he capital to accomplish a new wish. He requested “a bifold blow puppy alleged Cookie.”

At the end of May, Mateo visited Germany — virtually. Laura guided him about the centermost of Karlsruhe with her smartphone, pointing out highlights such as a 300-year-old alcazar amidst by abundant gardens, which Mateo arresting “really cool.” Afresh he gave her a bout of his house: Moving boxes were everywhere. He showed her the “shrine” on his bedchamber bank that holds his keepsakes, including a photo collage of him and acquaintance Jordan. On it, he’d printed and illustrated with hearts: “Jordan Mateo BFF.”

Laura told him she’s absolutely aflame to appearance him Karlsruhe in being someday. “Maybe not this year. Maybe abutting year,” she said. “The best important affair is to break safe and break healthy, and we’ll accept a lot of time larboard to get to apperceive anniversary other.”

Then, on July 13, 2020, anon afterwards the Goldmans moved, Mandy alone some account on Instagram. “I can’t accept what I’m about to post. Mateo relapsed, his blight is back.”

Second cartilage bottom transplants are rare. They are alike college accident than aboriginal ones, Duncan says, because the patient’s anatomy has already accustomed high-dose therapy, which can account agency dysfunction or toxicity. And the accident of accepting graft-versus-host ache is alike greater than the aboriginal time.

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It would be too chancy to use Laura’s axis beef again. But aback Mateo’s aboriginal transplant, the science evolved — new and auspicious drugs now accomplish it accessible to use donor beef that are not as carefully matched.

And this is aback the ancestors got a additional adventitious at a cure. Laura’s axis beef had accustomed Mateo three added years, until the science bent up and his 14-year-old brother, Leo, could try. On October 22, Leo donated his axis beef at Boston Children’s Hospital.

Earlier that week, Mateo had ordered himself a Grinch apparel aloof for fun and absolved the halls to charm the kids and nurses. He’d been in and out of the hospital aback mid-July, with COVID-19 preventing him from accepting any visitors except his parents. Mateo absent Jordan. He acclimated FaceTime to break in blow with his ancestors and to see his new puppy Cookie, a mix of poodle, aureate retriever, and Bernese abundance dog — and Cookie’s affinity Frino, who was too beautiful to canyon up and had additionally appear home with the Goldmans.

I visited Mateo and his ancestors at their new home the weekend afore his additional transplant — one of Mateo’s few reprieves from the hospital — and asked him how he acquainted about the anticipation of accepting his brother’s axis beef instead of Laura’s. Did he still feel affiliated to Laura?

“For now, through my blood,” he told me. “And this adeptness complete cringy, but, emotionally.”

Leo says he didn’t anticipate alert about altruistic his beef to his adolescent brother, alike afterwards acquirements that lots of all-overs would be amid in his aback to aggregate his marrow. “There was never a point aback I anticipation I wasn’t activity to do it,” he says. “I acquainted it was natural. I capital to get ‘Teo better.” He and Mateo “are, like, best friends,” he says. He couldn’t delay until Mateo got home, so he could accord him a hug.

The additional displace acquired problems for Mateo. He developed veno-occlusive disease, a alarmist complication, but boring recovered. “It has been difficult,” Dr. Duncan says. And yet, throughout Mateo’s illness, she has been “struck by the generosity of a stranger, the advantage of people, the animation of this adolescent and family.” And maybe best of all, she says, “Mateo’s adeptness to absorb his atom in the best aggravating times.”

A ages afterwards his transplant, still hospitalized, Mateo reflected on what it agency to be “a bifold Goldman,” as his mother blithely calls it. “It’s awe-inspiring to anticipate that Leo’s beef are in me,” he said. “I anticipate it does accompany us closer. But it felt, like, normal. I wouldn’t say it was a sacrifice. It was added like a gift, to save your brother’s life.” A allowance that brought Mateo home in time for Thanksgiving.

Just afore Christmas, about four years afterwards Mateo’s diagnosis, addition allowance arrived. Mandy and Nick acquaint account on their blog: Mateo’s “BONE MARROW BIOPSY CAME BACK CANCER FREE AND ALL LEO!” The displace from Mateo’s brother had worked.

“Baby steps, babyish battles and a absolute acclimation act of meds, backbone and prayers. We will get through it!,” the celebrating and beholden parents wrote. “Hug your babies, calculation your blessings, acquaint accent to bug off! Smile, beam and watch The Office like Mateo!”

__________

Linda Matchan, a common contributor to Globe Magazine, can be accomplished at [email protected] Send comments to [email protected]

_______

Bone bottom donors are needed

Some 35 actor bodies accept active up to be axis corpuscle donors on registries about the world, according to Be The Match, the nonprofit accumulation that maintains the civic donor anthology for patients in the United States. But the accumulation says alone 10 percent of Americans alike apperceive the civic cartilage bottom donor affairs exists. “We accept our assignment cut out for us in agreement of what it agency to accord cartilage marrow,” says Jamie Margolis, chief carnality admiral of donor services.

The charge for axis beef is enormous: 70 percent of patients don’t accept a absolutely akin donor in their family, according to Be The Match. And it’s not aberrant for there to be alone a distinct abeyant bout for a being defective a axis corpuscle displace to amusement diseases and cancers of the claret (such as sickle corpuscle disease, aplastic anemia, leukemia, and lymphoma). Race and ethnicity are important factors; affairs of a bout access with aggregate background. Also, white bodies are best acceptable to acquisition a match; Atramentous Americans are atomic likely.

And about bisected the time, bodies who assurance up change their minds — the sad acquaintance of 9-year-old Thor Forte of North Carolina who has sickle corpuscle disease. Three years ago his one bout on the anthology chose not to donate. Active in pain, he waits for a new donor to footfall forward.

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To accompany the Be The Bout registry, appointment join.bethematch.org/theglobe, or argument “theglobe” to 61474 to accept a link. It’s chargeless to accompany if you are 18-44 years old (the age ambit for donors best frequently requested by doctors).

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